


When None Is Missing

by sevenall



Series: Mercy Street [9]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Futurefic, Mercy Street AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 19:23:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6623164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenall/pseuds/sevenall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What careful means and how they haven't been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When None Is Missing

**Author's Note:**

> Alla har lungor  
> Och ingen är stum  
> Och ingen av dem fattas
> 
> Men dagen skrider mot nattens blund  
> Och brasan sjunker och mattas  
> Snart är försvunnen den korta stund  
> Då ingen fattas
> 
> \-- Erik Lindorm
> 
> All have lungs  
> And no one is mute  
> And none of them is missing
> 
> But evening is turning to starless night  
> And the fire is fading to ashes  
> Too quickly passes the moment when  
> None of them is missing

Nemu knocks on the door, two soft raps that she knows will carry into the apartment. Her father dislikes doorbells, dismantled the one already installed and refused to get a new one. It feels rather strange to be standing outside the apartment she has lived in most of her life and have to wait to be invited. Her father asked for the key back once she moved out, though, so she has little choice in the matter.

"Well?"

Her father opens the door and motions her inside without another word of greeting. Nemu can see that Akon's coat and boots are missing; he must still be at the hospital. She steps out of her shoes at the door, but doesn't take off her coat. Her hanger has been removed from the coat-rack and this will not be a long visit. Ikkaku is waiting outside in the car. He wanted to come up with her and though she managed to persuade him not to, he'll only give her ten minutes before coming up to get her. She is sincerely sorry that he has such a low opinion of her father.

She follows her father as he walks past the living room area and into his home office instead. He seats himself behind the desk and looks at her with something more than his usual disappointment and disdain for her inadequacies.

"Eh, so the street rat threw you out, did he? I told you so." His voice rises slightly in pitch. "I fed and sheltered you for more than twenty years. I paid for your education, And you thanked me by running away with some sorry excuse for a human being. Well, I've washed my hands of you, girl. Don't think you can come back here. I'm not having it."

Nemu stands in front of the desk, her eyes demurely downcast. There is a spot in the carpet she used to look at when she lived here, not a stain, just an irregularity in the weave. It's still there. Some things don't change. They can't.

"I'm sorry, Father," she says. "But that's not why I've come. I wanted to tell you that we're having a baby."

Her father hisses between his teeth, a sound of rage that makes her flinch, even now..

"Useless whore!" he spits, standing up. "There are clinics all over town and you have to come here, to me?"

Nemu shakes her head. The large china doll plant in the window has faded and yellowed noticeably since she moved out. Too much water or sun or maybe it feels the lack of care.

"Just to tell you, Father. I'm keeping the baby. We're moving out of the Brigand to the Park district. I was hoping you might come and visit us there."

Her father sits down again.

"Very well. Young fools. It'll never last. He'll leave you soon as the baby is born and then where'll you be?"

Her deep respect for her father notwithstanding, Nemu feels she has to put in a word in Ikkaku's defense.

"I…", she begins.

Her father waves her to silence. He takes out his prescription pad and starts writing. For a few minutes, the pen scratching against paper is the only sound in the room. When he's done, he tears it off, folds it and hands it to her. Their fingers touch for the briefest of moments and he scowls, displeased with the contact.

" I don't suppose either of you thought of folic acid supplements," he mutters. "If the baby's born with a hole in the head, don't go blaming me."

\--

"Huh."

Kenpachi has never been one for long speeches. Ikkaku walks around the pool table, lining up for his next shot. As he puts the cue to the ball Kenpachi says:

"Don't screw it up."

Ikkaku wouldn't dream of it. The shot goes into the pocket like anything.

\--

The clinic is just upstairs and Nemu is not yet so big that she needs to take the elevator. Dr. Retsu is waiting for her in the exam room, already wielding the blood pressure cuff. There are machines to take blood pressure, but Nemu likes it better when Dr. Retsu puts the stethoscope end under the cuff and listens.

"One hundred twenty over eighty. That's very good, dear." Dr. Retsu smile is as warm as her tone. "You're in excellent shape. Did you bring me your blood glucose chart?"

Ever since she got pregnant, Nemu measures her blood glucose twice as often as before. Pregnancy strains a healthy body and with her diabetes, she needs to take extra care. She takes out the chart and gives it to Dr. Retsu, who looks it over, making a note or two in the margins.

"You seem to be doing well. Your endocrinologist tells me he was happy with the last round of labs, too. Please lie down now, dear, and we'll have a listen."

Nemu does so, pulling down her skirt a little and unbuttoning the last button in her shirt. Dr. Retsu smears some gel on her stomach and then presses the ultrasonic detector to the skin. She runs it back and forth for a few seconds until she homes in on the sound. Ta-dam, ta-dam, ta-dam. When Dr. Retsu turns up the volume it sounds like a galloping horse, only quicker. The baby's heart beats one hundred and fifty times a minute. Nemu closes her eyes and smiles.

\--

The week after Ikkaku told Tetsu, he got a check with rather more than the usual amount. Tetsu's not doing too badly as a RN, but they've already got a payment plan worked out along the lines of whatever he can, whenever he can and not to kill himself  
trying to get out of hock. So this isn't necessary.

"Oi!" he starts, the next time Tetsu comes into the kitchen. "What the fuck is this?"

Tetsu barely glances at the check, before reaching into the refrigerator and taking out the last juice carton.

"Been doing some overtime," he says. "Take it."

Some overtime, huh? This is more than some. Looks like a Tetsu's been working around the fucking clock. Ikkaku swipes the juice out of Tetsu's hand, to get his attention.

"Hey, we had a deal 'bout…"

Tetsu makes a half-hearted grab for the juice, then turns back to refrigerator for milk and some of yesterday's leftovers.

"Yeah, I know. Take it." He stuffs one of Yumi's dumplings into his mouth. "Think of Nemu," he adds when he's done chewing.

Ikkaku takes it.

\--

 

"I don't deserve her," Ikkaku tells Renji one late night at the Brigand, They've pretty much closed up, only some sweeping to do and another load of dishes.

"I know what you mean."

Lights are on in the kitchen but off in the bar.The tip of Renji's cigarette glows red in the semi-darkness. He's the one person who really can appreciate what Ikkaku means. He's so clear on that Kuchiki Rukia deserves better than him that he won't even tell her how he feels. Maybe he's a better man than Ikkaku. Hell, there's no maybe about it. But when Ikkaku thinks of Nemu's smile and the way her eyes soften when she looks at him, her slender fingers touching him anywhere, everywhere, he knows he couldn't give her up for anything.

\--

Rangiku's laughs when he tells her. He can hear her daughter shout in the background as she shifts the phone to her other ear.

"Congrats," she says. "Was wondering when you'd get around to it, you two."

Ikkaku is a little surprised that there's nothing but warmth in her voice. Sometimes, when he hasn't talked to her in a while, he expects there to be more tension between them. He's glad there isn't. She's his friend, always has been and he'd hate to lose her over something that was mostly his fault to start with.

"Thanks, Ran," he says, meaning it. He knows she doesn't warm to strangers easily and she and Nemu are so unlike that they might well be from different planets.

"I'll be around sometime later this week. See what she needs, take her shopping maybe. She should have nice things, you know."

Nemu should have all kinds of things Ikkaku can't give her. He nods, knowing that Ran can't see it. He doesn't deserve either of them.

\--

Momo hugs her.

"That's wonderful! Congratulations!" she exclaims into Nemu's shoulder. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you."

No matter how sincere Nemu's feelings, hugging will never be as natural to her as it is to Momo. She tries to return the hug as best she can.

"So," Momo says. "No soft cheeses, right? Or raw vegetables. And I'll handle the raw beef and chicken."

"No shellfish. Most fish are okay, though."

"Uh-huh. No sprouts. No peanuts, no liver."

They look at each other with perfect understanding and smile.

\--

It takes Nemu a moment to recognise the woman outside the door, mostly because the context is all wrong. Nanao doesn't come down to the Brigand and definitely not during the day.

"Nanao-san," she says, surprised. "Ikkaku isn't in right now, but I can…"

Nanao interrupts her gently.

"The matter concerns him too, but it was you I wanted to speak to. If I may come in?"

Nemu nods.

"Of course. Would you like anything to drink? "

"Perhaps a glass of water, thank you."

As Nemu leads the way into the kitchen, she regrets that she hasn't had time to tidy up the apartment yet today, Nanao doesn't seem to mind, settling down at the kitchen table and simply pushing away the newspapers and breakfast plates until there's enough space to set down a yellow folder.

"Do forgive me if I'm being presumptuous," she says, "but when Ikkaku told me, I came to think of how we met, you and I. And I remembered going down Charles Street and how you…seemed to like it. It'd be a good place to raise a child."

Nemu takes out the water bottle from the refrigerator and pours Nanao a glass.

"It'd be, but I'm afraid we couldn't possibly afford it," she says.

"Well. " Nanao hesitates. "I happen to know a landlord over there. It's not a large house and it's in the cul-de-sac, but the garden is nice and it would only be a little more expensive than an apartment. If you like. If you and Ikkaku like."

She opens the folder and slides it over to Nemu. Inside is a sheet with an adress, rental information and some photographs of the interior.

Nemu looks at the sums for deposition and rent first, which are surprisingly reasonable. Then and only then does she allow herself to look at the pictures. It's as Nanao says, not a large house. Two bedrooms, one living room and kitchen combined with dining area. The front lawn is tiny, the backyard only slightly bigger. The garage looks big enoough for both the car and for Hozukimaru. She looks up again. Nanao is watching her, with something approaching sadness.

"I thought one of us should live there," she says, "and I'm glad you'll get the chance."

\--

They do have to be careful. The first time it happens, Ikkaku almost doesn't notice until it, well, has happened.

It's Yumi who asks, sharply: "Nemu-chan, what's wrong?"

And it's Yumi, who finds the juice packet in the little man-purse he carries and sits Nemu down on the nearest chair, telling her not to worry, she's going to be fine.

By now, Nemu is waxy pale, cold sweat beading on forehead and upper lip. Yumi has to hold the juice for her and Ikkaku would panic, if not for Yumi's continued reassurances that all's well, all's going to be well, take another sip, dear. And he's right. Over the next few minutes, the juice starts working its magic. Nemu regains some colour and and the fine tremor in her hands stops.

"I'm sorry," she says in a voice that's still a bit unsteady and doesn't that make Ikkaku want to punch something.

Someone. Preferably the bastard who taught Nemu to apologize for being sick. Except there's only Yumi and Yumi shoots Ikkaku a look that tells Ikkaku very plainly that if he upsets Nemu right now, Yumi will rip him limb from limb.

"Ain't nothing to be sorry for," he says, sounding a little gruffer than he intended, but that's from relief. "'S long as yer alright."

And that's when he gets it, really gets what careful means and how they haven't been, just lucky. He has to turn his face away for a bit and not look at her or Yumi.

When Ikkaku is back in control of his face, he hears Yumi discuss the cuts and colours of the season's maternity wear. A part of him wants to snap at Yumi for being such a know-it-all. The rest of him is just grateful for the fact.

\--

The surgical cloth is green. Two dark eyes peer out of it, suspicious of the world outside. So many new sensations and none of them pleasant. Cold. Air into expanding lungs. Hunger. Ikkaku puts him down on Nemu's chest, careful of the incision in her stomach. He couldn't watch when the surgeons cut into her, but received his son as he was handed over, wet and indignant. The feet seemed awfully big for such thin legs.

"He looks like Gollum," Ikkaku says.

Nemu smiles down at the bundle on her chest. Her eyes are clouded with the anaesthesia still, her hair is in complete disarray and soaked with sweat. Ikkaku has never seen her more beautiful. In fact, he could jump her right now if not for the surgery and the baby, who is pawing at her hospital gown, pursuing his first meal.

"I think he looks like you," she says.

THE END


End file.
